Halloween at Holy Redeemer College Retreat and Conference Center in Windsor, Ontario was generally very quiet. Our building was four stories with about 200 rooms. The building was on 25 acres of land, mostly grass with a huge frontage of lawn the size of a football field. It was an imposing site so most years a few kids came to the door, but not many.
But one Halloween all that changed when the adventuresome members in our community and the novices decided to have some fun.
A plan to set up a funeral parlor scene in our front parlor came together rather quickly. Dave, who had a wicked sense of humour, was the master planner of the project
Everybody who participated, got dressed up in some sort of costume. We had a realistic count Dracula done up in some really great make-up. The count stationed himself out at the end of our driveway where it met Cousineau Road. He was perched on a stepladder waving a flash-light, encouraging kids to come in.
Gerry the novice director, dressed up as a roman senator in a toga and sandals. Some of us wore black religious habits so we would be less visible in the darkened area of the foyer and our mock funeral parlor.
Martin wore a black zimarra which is a huge floor length wool cape. There were also a few stuffed dummies in the chairs around our funeral parlour and one novice, Ray, dressed as a gorilla sat among the dummies’.
The center piece in the parlor was a fake coffin called a catafalque. A catafalque is a wooden frame shaped like the old-style coffins from the 18th century; very narrow at the top, wider further down, then narrow again at the very bottom. It rested on four legs.
A catafalque was used a long time ago for memorial masses for the dead when there was no body present in a real coffin. A black silk pall funeral cloth with a white cross on it was draped over the catafalque. The whole thing made a realistic looking coffin.
We placed bouquets of flowers from our chapel around the coffin. On each side of the coffin there was an elaborate golden candle holder holding a thick orange, three-foot-high lit candle.
As a touch of class, we placed a prie-dieu (kneeling bench) in front of our casket for someone to kneel if they want to say a prayer for the deceased.
The whole area was in darkness
except for a small vestibule light between the double set of front doors. The parlor was illuminated only by the two big candles which cast suitably scary shadows.
On the floor, under the catafalque, hidden by the funeral cloth was Marc. Marc was gifted with the scariest scream I have ever heard. Marc’s scream would send shivers down your spine.
So here is how our plan played out: Martin stood at the top of the coffin wearing the zimarra. (With his glasses off, his nose looked really long in the candle light and he looked scary.) When teenagers arrived Martin’s deep voice would welcome them saying, “Come around my coffin to get your treats!” And then he said, “Gather around closer so I can see you better!”
Of course, the teenagers came cautiously closer.
That’s when Marc, on the floor under the coffin, would do three things simultaneously. He let out his most horrific scream, as his fist pushed up the cloth giving the illusion of a head rising from the coffin. At the same time he grabbed the ankle of the nearest teenager with his free hand. In that same instant the gorilla jumped out of his chair roaring as he lunged forward, arms outstretched, as if ready to grab someone.
The impact on the kids was quite wonderful from our perspective.
In the blink of an eye the kids bolted from the room screaming, with Martin calling after them, “What about your candy?”
“Keep the candy!” they yelled back.
Once they managed to catch their breath and calm down they said, “Wow that was awesome! Can we wait here in the dark and watch the next bunch of kids get scared out of their wits?”
“Of course you can!” we said.
Please note: when our visitors were little kids we gave them candy at the door. We only pulled this prank on the teenagers.
Word must have gotten around the neighbourhood that there was something really neat to see at Holy Redeemer College because that night we had more kids come than ever before.
Later in the evening, after many teenagers had been terrified by our funeral parlor, a strange thing happened.
Two cars pulled into our driveway and stopped just inside the entrance to our property. The car lights went off and about nine, mostly tall characters, got out, all draped with bed sheets. They had a huge wooden cross with them.
The smallest person led the group to our front door with the second person in line carrying the cross. As they approached I noticed the little guy in front had a cane.
We greeted them but they were all silent, none spoke. We couldn’t get a word out of them.
The little guy with the cane approached Gerry and started to poke at Gerry’s toes exposed through his sandals. Gerry jumped back yelling “Stop that!”
Again, another poke at Gerry’s toes. Gerry jumped back again yelling “Now stop that! Cut that out!”
The little guy tried to poke Gerry’s toes again but I grabbed him from behind in a bear hug and said, “You stop that”
The little guy tried to get free but I wouldn’t let go.
“Who are you? Say something!” I said.
There was no response as he squirmed to get free. Then one of the bigger fellows under a sheet said, “Oh mother, tell them who you are!” Laughter followed and off came the sheets!
To our surprise it was our good neighbour Pauline, poking Gerry’s toes with the cane and most of her twelve kids were there wearing bed sheets. We all had a good laugh because we all knew Pauline was the biggest prankster of them all.
Later that evening members of our downtown St. Alphonsus Parish choir, all in costume, stopped in for a visit. One of the men was dressed as a bishop wearing a miter, vestments and pectoral cross and carrying a crozier (staff).
So, we showed them our dark funeral parlor illuminated by the light of the two candles. The bishop was nearest to Marc’s free hand when Marc screamed, made the head rise through the top of the coffin as he grabbed the bishop’s ankle.
The women screamed and ran.
The bishop jumped so high his miter fell off along with the cigarettes and lighter he had hidden under it and we all had another great laugh.
One last thing happened some time after the kids stopped coming and we had called it a night. Everyone had left the foyer area so I was alone, having just answered the phone at the reception desk.
The foyer lights were on now but the funeral parlor scene was still dark illuminated only by the two big candles. I had forgotten that a marriage encounter meeting of about 20 people was taking place that evening in one of our conference rooms.
The meeting ended and the first person to leave and pass by the funeral parlor scene was my friend Judy.
Judy stopped briefly, took in the scene of the casket, candles and flowers. Then knelt down on the prie-dieu and bowed her head to say prayers for the deceased.
I was still on the phone on the other side of the foyer. She looked so sincere I didn’t have the heart to tell her there was nobody there to pray for!
That evening was the most fun I ever had during Halloween. I laughed so much my sides were sore.
Raymond Pierce is a Storyteller living in Toronto, Canada
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